I stand convicted. Joyful desire mixed with regret fill my soul right now. I listened to Philip Blankenship's sermon from the camp meeting on my way to work yesterday and was blessed with wonderful thoughts of Jesus, my omnipotent deliverer. But as I was walking from my truck to start work, I started pouting (silently). I thought that having to work would just ruin my thoughts and therefore my communion with the Lord. I caught my inconsistency right away. I know that six days of the week are for work and that in the world. Worship refreshes me and improves me for everyday life, but the purpose of my life isn't just to go to church. So I reminded myself that to walk with God, it is absolutely important I commit myself fully to my task at hand and do it with all my might. Then this morning, I listened to the sermon by Elder Ivey. My heart was melted, but I couldn't right away tell why.
Eld. Ivey preached against forgetting which were the first principles of the oracles of God, exposing our tendency to admire our understanding more than adore our blessed Redeemer and Husband. I don't think I am prideful of my doctrine or idolatrous of the church, so I couldn't explain the pain that came with that message. Then I considered his reference to Hebrews 5:12; that given the amount of doctrine and preaching I have been blessed with, I should be a teacher. But am I? I think I felt shame that I intentionally let pass opportunities to bless my Savior before men. I feel like I should avoid speaking my mind so not to alienate myself from anyone, assuming nobody cares to understand why I drove 150 miles one way on a weekend to go to church. Perhaps I'm teaching people that my faith is not remarkable, or that I don't have a lively hope. Perhaps the greatest barrier to my communion with God is my fear of confessing him. I know to walk with God I must have the intercession of Jesus, but He promised that He would confess us before the Father only on the condition that we confess Him before men. I need to do a better job at this and need to remember that if I lose the favor of men because of it, that that is according to His word. We just don't know who could hear. I reckon that sharing hope with one soul is worth more than being socially accepted by a multitude. Matthew 10:32-40. Why is this so hard for me to put into practice? Indeed I do need to return to my first love.
Eld. Ivey preached against forgetting which were the first principles of the oracles of God, exposing our tendency to admire our understanding more than adore our blessed Redeemer and Husband. I don't think I am prideful of my doctrine or idolatrous of the church, so I couldn't explain the pain that came with that message. Then I considered his reference to Hebrews 5:12; that given the amount of doctrine and preaching I have been blessed with, I should be a teacher. But am I? I think I felt shame that I intentionally let pass opportunities to bless my Savior before men. I feel like I should avoid speaking my mind so not to alienate myself from anyone, assuming nobody cares to understand why I drove 150 miles one way on a weekend to go to church. Perhaps I'm teaching people that my faith is not remarkable, or that I don't have a lively hope. Perhaps the greatest barrier to my communion with God is my fear of confessing him. I know to walk with God I must have the intercession of Jesus, but He promised that He would confess us before the Father only on the condition that we confess Him before men. I need to do a better job at this and need to remember that if I lose the favor of men because of it, that that is according to His word. We just don't know who could hear. I reckon that sharing hope with one soul is worth more than being socially accepted by a multitude. Matthew 10:32-40. Why is this so hard for me to put into practice? Indeed I do need to return to my first love.
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